A Full Year and More

It’s been a full year, plus, in NYC. I’m confident that I’ve adjusted more or less completely to the city; it feels like home now. My best moments are spent chilling in my new place on the Upper East Side, and everyday I feel fortunate to see daylight streaming through my window (my last room didn’t have windows).

What’s new? Not much. I suppose I don’t feel invincible any more. Sure, in college, sometimes people would get injured, but we were all so young, and I felt immortal. But here, I feel like time is always going a bit too fast. I’ve always been a dreamer, and these lists and lists of goals no longer seem all possible, at least not all in the same lifetime. I look at myself in the mirror and think that it’s not always going to be like this, this apartment, this city, this body, this moment. It’s liberating but also a little sad.

Work is work – there are as always areas of improvement, days in which I’m less enthused and then days when I am intrigued and I get a sense of that old college self who loved solving problems and learning new things. Nothing too much to say there.

It’s 2am now and I’m here sipping cider I got from Vermont (I learned snowboarding for the first time at Stowe in Vermont! it was pretty awesome) and I just felt compelled to write, since it’s been the better part of this year. It’s hard to say which updates will be more meaningful in the long run. I figure I will come back and reread these as many times as I write them.

Sometimes when I feel like I’m not appreciating the present enough, I pretend that I’ve already lived this life once and get to experience it again as some kind of final wish. Bizarre, I know. But it gets me thinking about what it is that is so beautiful about whatever this is, whatever life is.


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